EXCERPT FROM
How Can I Let Go if
I Don't Know I'm Holding On?
by Linda Douty

LETTING GO IS A COMPASSIONATE CHOICE

Any decision to let go involves compassion for others and for ourselves. As we let go of resentments and grudges, compassion calls on us to forgive persons, not behaviors. After all, letting go is not condoning wrongdoing. It is releasing ourselves from the bondage and baggage of the angry feelings.

It is virtually impossible to be genuinely compassionate toward another without extending that same compassion to ourselves. As we uncover our self-deceptions and shortcomings, our need for mercy becomes more real to us. Our false pride dissolves. We accept the astounding forgiveness of God as a reality, not merely a grandiose idea, and we begin to see ourselves through God's compassionate eyes. It's a beautifully contagious process, allowing God's forgiveness to flow through our own lives and extending to others. Forgiveness can't be forced ; it must be allowed.

So, letting go is not denial. Letting go is not condoning hurtful behavior. Letting go is not behavior modification. Letting go is not being "above it all." It is loosening our grip on attachments. It is a profound spiritual process that removes barriers to our true selves and our communion with God. It is making ourselves available to serve a marginalized and hurting world. It is entering into the process of loss and gain that literally shapes our lives here on earth and places us in harmony with creation as God ordained it.

In theory, we all yearn for this harmony. However, as we enter this land of letting go, we discover some uncharted detours and perilous ditches. Much will be required of us in terms of courage, persistence, and willingness to change course. But just hold on. The tunnels may be dark and the ride may be bumpy, but it's the road to freedom.

For reflection

1. Have you ever felt a "hunger for God"? How does the hunger manifest itself?
2. What seems to cause your spiritual restlessness? What are your usual ways of quelling that sense of dis-ease?
3. Describe a time when you have felt the "nudge" of God? What change, if any, resulted from it?
4. What changes would you need to make to release more control of your own spiritual process to God?

Copyright ©2005 Linda Douty. Excerpt used with permission from Morehouse Publishing.

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