Let Your Life Speak
by Parker J. Palmer
Chapter II
"Now I Become Myself"
Copyright ©2000 by Jossey-Bass Inc., Publishers
San Francisco, CA

her at birth. I noticed, and I still notice, what she likes and dis-
likes, what she is drawn toward and repelled by, how she
moves, what she does, what she says.

I am gathering my observations in a letter. When my grand-
daughter reaches her late teens or early twenties, I will make
sure that my letter finds its way to her, with a preface something
like this: "Here is a sketch of who you were from your earliest
days in this world. It is not a definitive picture--only you can
draw that. But it was sketched by a person who loves you very
much. Perhaps these notes wilI help you do sooner something
your grandfather did only later: remember who you were when
you first arrived and reclaim the gift of true self."

We arrive in this world with birthright gifts--then we
spend the first half of our lives abandoning them or letting oth-
ers disabuse us of them. As young people, we are surrounded
by expectations that may have little to do with who we really
are, expectations held by people who are not trying to discern
our selfhood but to fit us into slots. In families, schools, work-
places, and religious communities, we are trained away from
true self toward images of acceptability; under social pressures
like racism and sexism our original shape is deformed beyond
recognition; and we ourselves, driven by fear, too often betray
true self to gain the approval of others.

We are disabused of original giftedness in the first half of
our lives. Then -- if we are awake, aware, and able to admit our
loss -- we spend the second half trying to recover and reclaim
the gift we once possessed.

LET YOUR LIFE SPEAK

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