“ Where do you want to eat tonight?”
I don’t care. Where do you want to eat?”
Doesn’t matter to me… What do you want to do?”
familiar? Sometimes even the easiest of decisions can become
maddening. But in the grand scheme of things,
choosing a restaurant is not really that hard of a decision
to make. Decisions about our family and children, money,
work, relationships, education, church, faith and spirituality,
rules, laws, ethics, morality... that's another
story. Depending on what’s at stake, making these
types of decisions can be both difficult and stressful.
how do you make decisions? What factors into your thinking?
Do you try to predict the outcome?
Do you intuitively know what to do? Are you
and decisive? Do you gather
information carefully, weigh the pros and cons, and then
act? Are you cool and logical or impulsive and emotional?
Do you hesitate? Do you worry before, during or after the
decision has been made? Do you second-guess yourself? How
we make decisions often says a lot about our personalities
and how we feel about ourselves.
some individuals appear confident and can make firm decisions
in a timely manner, others seem to struggle with
almost any decision. They simply cannot make up their minds
without the guidance, advice and support of others. They
may simply lack confidence. They may want to please others
and gain their approval, affirmation and support. Some stall,
avoiding the process altogether in the hope that it will
go away. Others may procrastinate until someone else makes
the decision for them. (That, of course, gives them someone
to blame should it ultimately be the wrong decision.) Still
others are simply paralyzed by the fear of making a bad decision.
They wonder, “What if…?” and then proceed
to a worst case scenario.
people have their own individualized style. Making decisions
is a process we all do differently depending on
a variety of factors. Experience and history; faith/spirituality;
values and morals; emotions; personality features; and the
support, advice and suggestions of family, friends,
therapists can often influence the process. Money, power,
ego, pride, image, anxiety, fears, health, drugs and alcohol,
issues of dependency, current stressors
and many other factors can also affect our decision making.
What are your factors? What are your strengths or weaknesses?
role does faith, beliefs, morals and values play in the
process? Many of us turn to prayer and contemplation,
the Bible or other sources of spiritual inspiration. We
seek God’s input and guidance. We make use of discernment,
contemplation and meditation. We may talk with our pastor
or therapist for guidance, comfort or support.
of the process is being aware of who you are, how you make
decisions and the factors which influence the decisions
you make. Some of the questions you might want to ask yourself
-How do I make decisions?
-Do I typically struggle with decisions?
-What types of issues do I struggle with?
-Do I go by instinct, information, intuition or emotions?
-What is the question or decision? Framing it often helps
in the process
-What are the benefits?
-What are the consequences?
-How will this affect me?
-How will it affect others?
-Am I trying to please others?
-Can I live with the wrong choice?
-What role does my faith play in the process?