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> What Are You Asking? -July 2005
 


Tom Ehrich
Tom Ehrich

 
   

What are You asking?

Pastor, Author and Speaker Tom Ehrich responds to
your questions about God, faith and
living spiritually

Send us your questions


 

JULY 2005


I have a friend whose 4-year-old son narrowly escaped a drowning accident, and she is still grieving over the experience. He is fine but she just can't seem to get past the fact that she was standing there and was not able to stop the near-death experience. How can I help her?

It is a sobering and frightening thing to discover our powerlessness, our inability to control all events. If your friend is feeling guilt for not having prevented an accident or anger for its having occurred, the best way for you to help her is this: give her room to talk it out. Don’t offer solutions or pat answers. Just listen. Stay with her in her pain.

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How can we embrace Jesus when we see him as more than human? People in the world today, as in the past, find it hard to follow the light that Jesus was sent to bring, because they cannot see him as a mere man like themselves.

Early Christians spent nearly three hundred years wrestling with the question of whether Jesus was fully human, fully divine, or some combination of human and divine. The process was complicated by the movement from Hebrew culture to Hellenistic, the transformation of the Jesus sect into a separate faith apart from Judaism, numerous competing philosophies and theologies (such as Docetism, which asserted that Jesus only appeared to suffer), and the institutional needs of an increasingly assertive Church.

The Council of Nicaea (327 CE) tried to resolve this process of self-definition. Bishops settled on a Trinitarian formula and balancing the humanity of Jesus (being born, suffering) and the divinity of Jesus (being raised, seated at the right hand of God.) Jesus himself said that when we see him, we see God. In his humanity and in the power of his presence, he showed the way to God.

Every Christian community understands these assertions differently. I encourage you to seek out the pastor of your church and ask his or her interpretation. Please understand that there are no absolutely right or wrong answers. The New Testament bears contradictory witness. Moreover, in wrestling with questions like these, we reach the limits of our comprehension.

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Does God forgive sexual offenders? It seems that must be the worst crime a person could commit, even worse then murder. When they get released, people will never trust them or forgive them, or give them a job so they can rebuild their self-worth, so how can they ever make it into heaven?

Yes, God forgave King David after his adultery, but not before punishing him. Repentance is important. As it is says in the Book of Common Prayer, “God desires not the death of a sinner, but that he turn from his wickedness and live.” Heaven has nothing to do with other people’s regard. Nothing can separate us from the love of God.

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I'm 17 years old and feel that the life ahead of me does not matter. Anything I do, good or bad, will ultimately not matter once I'm dead. I feel that when I'm dead it's all over, I can't win cause there's nothing to win, there is no God or eternal life, the Bible is just a great story, just like every other religion. It is more of a way to live your life that I am not interested in. I want to know why God (if he even exists) put me here, where he came from, why should I worship something I can't even see? Why would I want to be inferior to anything? I am not an atheist or anything like that, I do believe that there is a reason for people existing. I would love to hear your opinion about life.

You ask a lot of questions and I commend you for asking them. I hope you will give yourself plenty of time to find the answers. A good part of your life’s work is to answer questions of meaning and purpose. Some people don’t figure all of this out until late in their lives.

First, your life does matter. It is precious to God. I imagine it is precious to your parents and friends. Life is God’s gift to you, and how you use that gift shapes who you are. Second, God and Scripture will grow in your life over time, especially as you wrestle with life’s questions and with the failures and agonies that are inevitable. You don’t need to have it figured out at the age of 17. This is an age of discovering for yourself, as opposed to simply receiving what your parents handed you.

Finally, my opinion about life is that life is good, it can be difficult, and life seems to work best when we live for others, rather than for ourselves.

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Lately I have been fearing dying and getting old. I have received Jesus as my Savior. I have called friends so they can help me with this problem. I have prayed to God. I just don’t know what else to do. Sometimes I even start thinking to myself, “Is there a God?”

First, please understand that such fears are normal and healthy. You are wise to recognize your fears and to express them. Second, in addition to praying and asking other people for help, I would suggest talking to your pastor. He or she cannot make your fears disappear, but can guide you, listen and be present. Third, yes, there is a God, and that God loves you even as your fears mount. Please be patient with yourself.

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We have visited a Pentecostal church. Although it is louder that we are used to, we like it. The pastor brought up being baptized in Jesus’ name, instead of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. What do you think about this?

Every Christian denomination seems to have a different take on the sacrament of Baptism. Differences include age of baptism, amount of water, specifics of ritual, and the one you mention. I don’t find any of the differences overly compelling. God’s hands aren’t tied by human rituals. The point, it seems to me, is to find a faith community whose fellowship seems strong and loving and a pastor who is mature and wise.

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I was just wondering why the Pope has to pick a name.

The tradition of selecting the name of a saint or beloved predecessor began in the 6th Century. Up until then, popes used their own names. Then came a newly elected pope whose name was Mercurius, after the Roman god Mercury. He decided it wouldn’t do to have a pagan god’s name, so he took the name Pope John II.

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I must admit that I still, every now and then, ask WHY or HOW could the Lord love ME? I've done some things really wrong in my life. I regret that and am very sorry that I've done them. How can HE love ME?

God’s forgiveness is perhaps the greatest of all mysteries. All people, not just the nice and polite, can approach God and beg forgiveness. All sins are within reach of God’s mercy. As Paul said, nothing can separate us from the love of God, not even our worst behavior. It is true, of course, that we can turn away from God, as many do after they have sinned. But that is our doing, not God’s. For reasons we might never understand, God has chosen to remain steadfastly in love with us, no matter what we do.


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I have just recently lost my mother and just got married. When I was a single mom, my foundation was the church. But so much has changed: my mom, my kids (being on their own), my husband, finances and new home. I feel I have lost my relationship with God. I am trying to find what I have lost and keep the family together. I go to church every Sunday. I read a daily devotion. But I have lost my strength. It’s like I’ve fallen and can’t get up. My thoughts are all confused.

I hope you will go easy on yourself. You are experiencing some of the primary stressors of life: death of a parent, marriage, children moving away, moving to a new home. Any one of those would be difficult, and here you are experiencing them all at once. Grief is a powerful emotion. (And change causes grief, by the way, not just death.) Grief can wear you down and leave you feeling exhausted and confused.

I have two suggestions: First, I urge you to have a chat with your pastor. I think it helps when someone else knows what we are going through. Your pastor will want to know your situation.

Second, I urge you to be patient. It took the Hebrews forty years to cross the wilderness. Your wilderness probably won’t take that long, but it surely will take some time. God will guide you, probably in ways that will be new to you. Your pastor might suggest an opportunity at church that would help you see in new ways.

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To learn more about Tom Ehrich’s writings, visit www.onajourney.org.

 


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