There are years when Valentine’s Day has found me feeling like a member of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, rather than a beloved and special Valentine of a devoted admirer. On those years, when it feels as if everyone except me has someone to love, someone to enjoy, someone to be loved by, I wish that Valentine’s Day would just pass me by. My vacant heart feels like a dried-up well, and there’s nothing for me to do but wander around in my own emptiness and wish I belonged to someone. The problem is that loneliness is an all-too-common phenomenon on Valentine’s Day, because it has become tied so exclusively to romantic and intimate love.
Historically, Valentine’s Day did not become associated with romance until the Middle Ages. Although there’s very little known about St. Valentine, it is clear that St. Valentine was martyred for his love of God. What makes this important is that the focus of the holiday is spiritual, not physical love. It might make Valentine’s Day a completely new experience if we could intentionally allow the needs of our heart to be filled by God’s love. If we could take moments during the day to be wrapped in the wonder of knowing that we are completely and fully loved by heaven. The Abbé de Tourville, a simple French priest once wrote, “Say to yourself,” ‘I am loved by God more than I can either conceive or understand.’ Let this fill all your soul and all your prayer and never leave you. You will soon see that this is the way to find God.”
Now, that is a Valentine message! If you’re alone and are feeling like joining the Lonely Hearts Club on Valentine’s Day, why not try the Abbé’s suggestion instead? You might just find that it will become a habit to keep every day of the year.
When I was at the rock-bottom point in my life, I had an experience of God. I felt like I had become light and I was filled -absolutely filled- with unconditional love and acceptance. I still have my ups and downs, but having had that experience I have gone forward in my life like I never thought possible. None of us are ever alone and we are all loved -absolutely, constantly, unconditionally. I was never able to say that in my life until I had that experience. Now I know it's true.
Posted by: Ned 2/13/2009 11:34:04 AM
Yes, this is a day that reminds many of us who we have loved...and who we haven't; those who have loved us...and those who we wished to have loved us. The degrees of separation is not found in the latter or the former...but maybe in how we love ourselves. Happy V Day!.
Posted by: 2/13/2009 11:02:01 AM
When I was a little girl, my aunt told me she'd always be my Valentine. Silly enough, I've always remembered this. I hope that everyone can celebrate Love this Valentine's Day.
Posted by: Kelly 2/11/2009 10:22:01 PM
Valentine's Day will be my 74th birthday. I am widowed, I have known loneliness in its deepest sense. I have a thought for you, a friend once said, " the only thing worse than being alone is wishing you were.".True. And also true, we search, reach for God when we're lonely, a GOOD thing.
Posted by: Dawn 2/11/2009 2:46:01 PM
God has given me a wife whom I love very much and who loves in the same way. However, I do not think Renee's message does not apply to us. Our love exists because God has first loved each of us. One way, certainly not the only way, God tells us of His/Her love is in our experience of our love for each other. If we leave God out of our Valentine's Day celebration, we have truly missed the point.
Posted by: Eric 2/11/2009 2:14:02 PM
One of the things I always remember on Valentine's Day is the love that is/was shared between me and my late father. Family counts too!
Posted by: Lorena 2/11/2009 8:54:02 AM
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